Are you an Empath? Check for this 15 signs and see if you belong to this special community.
Empathy is an ability that many people have, which helps in understanding the feelings that radiate from other people.
Unless you are a psychopath, a narcissistic personality or a sociopath, you can probably understand the feelings that come out from people.
The level of empathy that we possess depends on a lot of factors, as some people are simply more sensitive than others.
“Empathy is like an emotional sponge,” says Psychiatrist Judith Orloff, author of the book “A Guide to Surviving Empathy”. “They are people who absorb the stress and positive emotions of other people in their own bodies,” she adds.
These are some signs that can help you understanding if you are an Empath.
You have no Filters
Being empathetic does not just mean having compassion. In many ways, empaths do not have “filters” that most other people have. They actively participate in everything that happens around them, knowing the fact that they are very sensitive to noise.
This means that big crowds can exhaust them. Also, Empaths can become overwhelmed with emotions when putting under pressure.
“Empaths have the gift of intuition, they really care for others and have developed deep compassion for other people,” says Orloff.
“They give too much. Sometimes they try to” take over “the pain of their loved ones, in the end, they really feel that pain.”
You need time for yourself
In order to “recover”, empaths need some time for themselves. Sometimes they need to sleep alone, which is difficult to explain to their partners.“We know empaths who like to sleep alone, but they can not tell that to their partner. They can not easily fall asleep if they are not in bed alone,” Orlof explains. “They swing around and turn around, they’re uncomfortable.”
Is it hard to set boundaries
Setting some boundaries can be a real struggle for an Empath because they always want to help other people.
Unfortunately, this means that manipulative people often use them. Narcissism and empathy are often attracted to one another – narcissism needs someone to manipulate, and empaths see them as someone they can help.
Orloff says that empaths must learn to fight for themselves and understand what is best for them.
Just say: ‘No, I’m sorry, I can not go tonight, I’d rather be at home’, she advises.
Do you like to talk with strangers
People with a high level of empathy show unsatisfactory curiosity towards people they do not know. They will talk to a person who sits next to them on the bus, showing some natural curiosity that we all had when we were children, and which the society successfully suppressed.
Curiosity extends our empathy through conversation with people beyond our usual social circle in which we move.
Martin Seligman thinks that curiosity is a key force that can help us bring satisfaction with our own lives to a higher level. And it is usually a very useful remedy for chronic loneliness, which is thought to affect one in three people in a contemporary (Western) society.
Overcoming prejudice and discovering similarities
Empathic people are confronted with their prejudices and hopes by looking for what is common to them before what distinguishes them. One episode of American history illustrates well how this can be achieved.
Claiborne Paul Elis was born in a poor White family in Durham, North Carolina in 1927. He worked hard at a garage and believed that Afroamericans were the cause of all his troubles. He followed in his father’s footsteps and joined Ku Klux Klan, where he eventually advanced to one of the top positions in the local branch of this racist association.
In 1971, he was invited – as a prominent local citizen – to a ten-day session in the local community in order to calm racial tensions in schools and was declared a member of the board of directors with En Etvoter, a local black activist whom he despised.
But, working with him, he saw the meaninglessness of all his prejudices against the Afro-Americans.
He realized that the same problems of poverty affect both communities. “I watched that black man, I was shaking hands with him and I saw him as a human being,” recalled his experience at a community meeting later on. “It was almost the same as being born again.”
Elis later became a member of a working organization for the union whose membership accounted for 70% of African Americans. He and En are friends for the rest of their lives. There is probably no better example of how the power of empathy can overcome hatred and change our rigid attitudes.
Life from the perspective of other people
Do you think climbing over icy mountains or flying gliders is an extreme sport? Then you should try “experimental” empathy – the most challenging and potentially most fruitful “sport” of all.
People with high empathy acquire direct experiences from the lives of other people, practicing the old saying of the Indians “Walk in the mile in another person’s mocha before you excite it.”
Careful listening and openness
For an empathetic interlocutor, you need to have two characteristics.
The first is to master the art of attentive listening. “Of crucial importance,” says Marshall Rosenberg, a psychologist, and driver of the idea of nonviolent communication, “is our ability to attend to what is really happening at a given moment – the uniqueness of the feelings and needs of the person we listen to.”
Empathetic people listen very carefully to others and act all in order to evaluate their emotional states and needs, regardless of whether it’s a good friend who got sick of an incurable disease or a partner who is irritated by some of our behavior.
But listening alone is not enough. So we arrive at the second necessary characteristic, openness, which includes vulnerability.
Empathy is a two-way street because, in addition to mutual understanding, it is based on the exchange of our most important experiences and beliefs with others.
Inclusion in mass actions and social changes
When we think about empathy, it is usually observed at the individual level, but empathic people realize that empathy can be a mass phenomenon that can bring radical social changes.
Empathy most likely, like flowers, can be cultivated on a collective level, if we would teach new generations how to nurture it. Such an idea is at the heart of the pioneering “Empathy Role” project in Canada, involving more than half a million children.
We are inclined to believe that empathy is reserved exclusively for those who live on the social margins and who suffer. Well, not always.
Necessary for the development of empathy is to deal with people who do not share our beliefs and which in some ways can be considered our enemies.
If you are an environmental activist, for example, stop and consider how this problem works from the perspective of one of the oil company officials – try to understand their thinking and motivation – to improve the effectiveness of your strategy for fighting for environmental protection.
A little “instrumental empathy” (also known as “influential anthropology”) can be very useful.
Empathy towards opponents is also part of the road to social tolerance. As Gandhi said during the conflict between Muslims and Hindus that led to Indian independence in 1947: “I am a Muslim! And a Hindus. I’m both a Christian and a Jew. “
Are people asking you for advice
Empaths are often respected members of the community. So it is natural for people to search for advice from someone who is a good listener and a nice person in general.
Bonus Empath Signs
- Do you love pets and small children? All Empaths love them.
- Do you feel sick when someone from your family is ill? That’s an Empath sign.
- Overly attached to your loved one.
- Can you tell when someone is lying to you?
- Do you have a calming effect on people
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All Empaths must have these types of Empathy in order to have long and meaningful love in their life.
This world expert for emotional intelligence has some tips for you.
It’s empathy! But what Harvard psychologist and professor Daniel Goleman point out is that many people do not know that there are three types of empathy that you have to master in order to have a successful relationship.
When you hear the phrase “try to put yourself in the position of another person”, it’s done with cognitive empathy, Goleman points out. It is important to have a high level of awareness and understanding of other’s people perspective and view of the world because it is a crucial part of maintaining a good connection and communication.
Technically, that means:” I know which mental models you have, I know which language I use in order for you to understand me. It’s one comprehensive thing, “explained the psychologist in a conversation with Oprah Winfrey.
The second aspect is the social side of empathy.
“It’s when you immediately feel what someone else feels,” Goleman pointed out.
In this way, a connection with another person is created and you need to keep up with the upcoming events in order to achieve this.
“The connection will only come true if you fully pay attention to another person, then you will have chemistry.”
The third type of empathy is extremely important and just as neglected, Goleman says.
“If someone in my life is in trouble, I will not only feel his misfortune, I want to help them, it triggers the third part of the brain called the” old system of mammal for parenting. “It’s like the parent’s love for a child. According to someone, you will always be there for them, “explained the psychologist.
When all three aspects of empathy merged, you have a recipe for much better relationships.
“If you do not get involved, if you do not know what happens to another person, you will be out of the ordinary. That’s why you need to have all these three things to make a good interaction,” Goleman concluded.
Everybody has an Empath inside of him. You just need to reach and grab him.
Bellow, I will post some Youtube videos and my personal Empath book from Amazon.
Here are some of the reviews on Amazon:
Lisa: It’s an ok book, but lacking in detail. The description gives the impression there will be exercises and guidance. Not enough information, i left the book for google often.
Saad: Pragmatic book. You can easily label it as “out there” but if you take the time to try some of the things without fiddling with the ideas they work very well. Take the time out to try some of the ideas, they’re worth it.
Donald Rogers: The only problem with this book is that more people are not aware of it.
I found this book to be extraordinary in many ways.
The world is changing and this book is one that can help many understand some of those changes in- the world- themselves- and/or- those in their lives.
I think everyone should take a look. It will help you understand yourself or someone you know.
Good book- great read- well written.
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